I pledge to never feel like a bad parent ever again… because I’m not… a parent. Sorry, I was distracted by an add on the radio. Welcome back to Comical Musings. Welcome back to DC Talk – with Hal! I’m Hal and I talk about DC.
Lets start off with some personal news; it involves a DC character, so I’m claiming it’s relevant. Apparently, Scott’s co-workers recently tried to hang a large mural or the Joker over Scott’s desk. Scott was not amused. But it got me thinking… what characters should your favorite members of the Writer’s Blok hold up as their standards? What characters do you associate with out writers? Stop reading this blog and go write something in the comments at the bottom. Try to think outside the box; Hal <->Flaming Carrot, Killer Moth, Open Window Man is too easy. Write something about Shea or the Black-ness Monster, they’ll appreciate that you were thinking about them.
Anyway, now that you are finished submitting your comment and didn’t just keep reading as an act of defiance to my direct and heart-felt injunction, we can move on to discussing more serious matters…
So I read Dial E. Based on my strong feelings about Dial H you probably expect that I loved it. Well, it comes as a surprise to us both that I did not. Unfortunately, Dial E seems to fit in with its fellow Villains’ Month titles as a work that provides little substance and ultimately leaves readers unsatisfied. But whereas all the other titles are introducing new characters into the New52, or providing more depth to characters that will receive additional focus in coming months, Dial E only provides a chaotic coda to a title that was cut off before its time.
As advertised, twenty artists were involved, but it seemed like twenty authors were also involved, and each one sought to provide more weird characters using weird powers rather than advancing the story. Usually, this would be directly in my wheelhouse, but as the conclusion to a series that I really enjoyed, it seemed like a hollow art piece based loosely on concepts from the series. It lacked China Miéville’s usual twisted logic, uniting and giving meaning to the random occurrences that pepper the story. Instead this issue just turned into a melee between some young thieves who stole the E-Dial*, the gangsters they stole it from, the cops, and finally the Centipede. (I really hate the Centipede, but in this case I was glad to see a familiar, albeit loathsome, face.)
Some of the villain concepts were creative and interesting (Baba Iago – a combination of Shakespeare and Russian folklore) and I recognized a few artist based on their art style. For instance, Jeff Lemire was pretty easy to pick out, but I was disappointed that his assigned villain was “The Bends.” He should have been allowed to draw “The Canadian Tuxedo” who encases all his victims in denim. Anyway, this issue was alright, it just didn’t add anything to the series. (I went back and read issue #0, and even that nonsense with Bumper Carla contributed more to the story of the dials than Dial E.)
But the biggest shortfalls were two-fold. First, in every previous issue the cover tied into the story. The cover of Dial E has nothing to do with the story, and they never reveal the clever, pun-based name of the villainess who attacks hapless civilians with gross candy. Second, the title: Dial E is wrong! *The dial used throughout this issue is not an E-Dial, it’s a Q-Dail, sort-of. To use it you have do dial Q-U-E-D: qued meaning evil or bad in middle English. But, standard rotary telephone dials didn’t have a Q, so to use this dial you have to dial 0-8-3-3, because zero is like Q. WHAT??? Why can’t you just let it be an E-Dial? That’s the name of the comic!
Oh well. All good things…
In other DC news, you may have heard the rumors that Justin Bieber is auditioning for the role of Robin in the sequel to Man of Steel. Peace and be still, dear reader, this rumor has been effectively debunked. However, I would posit that the Biebs might make a better Robin than Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Now, before you assemble a fan-boy lynch-mob for an assault on fortress Comical Musings to bring me to justice for my heresy, allow me a few more words. I always think of Robin as a kid, or at the oldest, as a teen. In my opinion, Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Chris O’Donnell could only play Night Wing. Bieber at least falls in the correct age-range for Robin. Obviously Mr. Gordon-Levitt could act circles around Bieber, and Bieber is too tall. I would rather see Bieber play Speedy in a poignant portrayal of the ravages that drug use can inflict on a career of super heroics.
That’s all for now. I have to go finish my illustration of Harley Quinn wearing a skin-suit made out of Foghorn Leghorn. Keep it tuned here for the latest off-the-wall commentary on the DCU, or on comics in general. And if you read to the end of this post waiting for inspiration to strike before you left your comment, then just write the first thing that comes to mind. Randomness is appreciated around here, as long as it doesn’t require me do Dial Q…