Hi, Everybody! Welcome to our weekly post where we tell you “What Comics to Watch for on Wednesday.” Scott is still nursing a tryptophan hangover, so it’s up to your favorite fill-in blogger, Hal, to get his bleep together and keep this train on the tracks.
Scott writes this article every week in order to recommend a few comic titles that are worth your time. I cannot promise the same for the comics I am about to highlight, but I’ll try to take this seriously (even though I’m already posting it a day late.) I mean, it can’t possibly go any worse than last time.
We always say that “we rarely suggest mid-run titles, because we try to provide good jumping on points or oddities that must be seen to believe,” but this week these comics have to be believed to be seen.
This week’s offerings:
It’s basically the movie Muliplicity, only in space. Hilarious! It’s also written by Paul Jenkins, who won an Eisner-award and might be related to a guy who learned not to leave ships lying around in bottles.
Image Firsts Bitch Planet #1
It’s basically “Papergirls”, only in space and with much more liberal use of the word “bitch.” Image Comics is reprinting the first issues of some of their more popular titles and selling them for a dollar. I heard this was good. Look, I had to sensor the picture of the cover, so if you’re not already interested then I don’t know what else to say, bitch.
(Also, Papergirls #3 comes out this week, but Bitch Planet is only a dollar, so it wins.)
Godzilla in Hell #1 and #2
Speaking of reprints, “Godzilla in Hell” came out at a time when we weren’t really watching for anything on Wednesdays, but now they are reprinting it for the THIRD TIME! They don’t do that for bad comics. If, like me, you missed it the first two times then check it out. It’s a sobering morality tale about the consequences of stepping on churches.
But if Godzilla is in Hell, then who will we get to knock down all those unwanted buildings? Kodoja, of course! A secret superweapon developed in the Kodak Dojo has been reactivated and given an obvious name. Now somebody somewhere has to stop it from doing something. Why should you read it? Because when they don’t show a clear picture of the monster on the cover, there’s a good chance that the monster is going to look silly. Like “giant Clayface” silly. Will the writers be able to construct an engaging story around a silly-looking monster? There’s only one way to find out…
All-New Inhumans #1
Okay, so, clouds of special gas are turning people all over the world into weirdos. Now a team of other weirdos who normally live on the moon have to find them and convince them to join their team. That is the plot. Alright, Marvel, let’s do this.
But, Hal, shouldn’t we also check out Totally Awesome Hulk #1?
Because Amadeus Cho is stupid. Go read about non-Bruce Banner Hulk if you want to. I don’t care. But did you know that Vampirella is currently fighting Aliens? The Aliens, like from the movie Aliens!? Yeah, that’s a thing, so get out of here with your Totally Awesome Hulk, newb.
Bigfoot Sword of the Earthman #1
It doesn’t matter, all comics are going to seem dumb in comparison to “Bigfoot Sword of the Earthman.” My brain is having trouble accepting that this exists.
“High adventure on a distant planet of dinosaurs, warlords, kingdoms and sorcery, where Earth’s legendary Bigfoot finds himself in a battle to defeat the ruthless emperor of a barbarian planet! The dying planet needed a hero? what they got was a sasquatch!”
Call me odd, but I literally can’t even.